Because Enquiring Minds Want to Know...

365 Days of Worth started percolating, unbeknownst to my conscious self, when recently I asked Joan to help keep me accountable for all the many things I've got going on in my life. It's a very good life, but is it ever busy! And in that busyness, I have often found myself standing on a precipice absolutely paralyzed, unable to do what needs done. It's too easy to blame my circumstances: I have four kids (from 14yo down to 3yo)... I need to keep my home running (bills, groceries, chores, supervising chores, laundry...)... I need to teach my children (and turn in their grades ::cough::)... I need to work on speech therapy with one of the kids... I need to do some bookkeeping for work... I need to... take care of myself? But there's no time for that!

No time for that? How can there be no time to center myself for a few minutes with the Maker of my soul? How can there be no time for reading a good book? How can there be no time for a walk around the block? How can there be no time to hang some pictures on the walls that have been bare for three years? How can I have no time or energy to declutter my home? How can I have no time to care for my body (which is a gift from my Creator)?

As I looked over my days and how they've been spent, I realized that a good portion of my time has been stolen and squandered by a woman who has forgotten her worth. Why on earth would I consider a new project like this blog when I already have so much to do? That was my first thought when Joan suggested a jointly written blog for the coming year. My next thought was: because I have so much to do, I need to do this! Yet another to-do list has been scribbled out next to my computer, but it's a list I can't wait to share. It's a growing list of things that I know will be good for me, good to me, and bless me (and in turn, I surely hope they will bless you, too).

365 Days of Worth started for me when...

I am a mother, a wife, a believer, and a woman who has lost herself in the day to day walk that is my life. I was feeling the Lord talk to me for a few months now about how I don't value myself as His child. How would I want someone to treat my children? What would I do if I saw my children treating themselves less then what I know they are worth? When I realized that I am also a daughter, and a wife and mother... how do my children and my husband and my mother feel about how I treat myself?

CONVERSATIONS IN MY MIND

There are those conversations you have that later you go back and you say "did she say that to me? Did he mean that this way??" Actions of those around you that are totally well meaning, but when you look back you are like "why did I let that happen?" or "Why didn't I say this?"
Well, those have happened for me over the past 10 or 20 years. I don't want to use specifics today.. because I don't think they matter today. You know how those go... you have had them. They make you feel empty, lost... worthless.

God knows I love my family.. but do I love them well? I don't love myself well so how can I love others well. Proverbs 31... what if I was a Proverbs 31 woman... did she settle for whatever, or did she give to herself and those she loves her best. That had to start with her... did she wake up and throw on something... run to the store and buy a less then suitable garment because she needed something quick...waste her time and money and energy on things that don't bring joy into her life and the lives of her family. I have settled for so much less to benefit my family.. but have I really benefited them?

I WILL BE MAKING SOME CHANGES:

This is the beginning of a year long journey of me making decisions in my day that affect my worth. This is NOT a RESOLUTION to work out and loose weight... or a goal for my life that I may or may not accomplish. This is a true life changing moment for me.

I, Joan Curtis, will from January 1, 2010 thru December 31, 2010 treat myself with respect in the decisions and choices I make for myself. I will allow God to show me that I am worth HIS best and therefore I am worth MY best. This is a journey that I am taking on behalf of myself and for my family. I want my husband to have the best wife for him, and my children to grow up and know they are worth the effort because I showed them that I am worth that effort.

Here is to a new year.. a new life... and a new adventure!

Day one starts tomorrow!!! Happy New Year!