I am a mother, a wife, a believer, and a woman who has lost herself in the day to day walk that is my life. I was feeling the Lord talk to me for a few months now about how I don't value myself as His child. How would I want someone to treat my children? What would I do if I saw my children treating themselves less then what I know they are worth? When I realized that I am also a daughter, and a wife and mother... how do my children and my husband and my mother feel about how I treat myself?
CONVERSATIONS IN MY MIND
There are those conversations you have that later you go back and you say "did she say that to me? Did he mean that this way??" Actions of those around you that are totally well meaning, but when you look back you are like "why did I let that happen?" or "Why didn't I say this?"
Well, those have happened for me over the past 10 or 20 years. I don't want to use specifics today.. because I don't think they matter today. You know how those go... you have had them. They make you feel empty, lost... worthless.
God knows I love my family.. but do I love them well? I don't love myself well so how can I love others well. Proverbs 31... what if I was a Proverbs 31 woman... did she settle for whatever, or did she give to herself and those she loves her best. That had to start with her... did she wake up and throw on something... run to the store and buy a less then suitable garment because she needed something quick...waste her time and money and energy on things that don't bring joy into her life and the lives of her family. I have settled for so much less to benefit my family.. but have I really benefited them?
I WILL BE MAKING SOME CHANGES:
This is the beginning of a year long journey of me making decisions in my day that affect my worth. This is NOT a RESOLUTION to work out and loose weight... or a goal for my life that I may or may not accomplish. This is a true life changing moment for me.
I, Joan Curtis, will from January 1, 2010 thru December 31, 2010 treat myself with respect in the decisions and choices I make for myself. I will allow God to show me that I am worth HIS best and therefore I am worth MY best. This is a journey that I am taking on behalf of myself and for my family. I want my husband to have the best wife for him, and my children to grow up and know they are worth the effort because I showed them that I am worth that effort.
Here is to a new year.. a new life... and a new adventure!
Day one starts tomorrow!!! Happy New Year!