Public Service Announcement
You need to go see your doctor, if you haven't yet this year. Have your well-woman exam and a physical. When your doctor asks you how you're doing, do not be polite -- be honest. Are you anxious? Say so. Are you irritable all the time? Say so. Are you forgetting too many things? Say so (write it down so you don't forget!). You need to take care of you or you will have no energy or health to spend on the people who matter to you... and those same people will not thank you for letting yourself run down.
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I got a call from my own doctor a week ago; she was checking that I was getting bloodwork done. It was nice (read that: I had peace in my heart!) to be able to report that I did, indeed, have an appointment to get that lab work done. She also called to give me some initial results to the first round of hormone testing we did last month. Let's just say that my issues are not all in my head, they're in my hormones (and the lack thereof)! Nothing is fixed yet... but I'm on the way to getting well.
There is no point in finding my worth if I'm going to treat myself as though I am worth nothing. It's strangely validating to discover that I am dealing with real, physical, chemical problems -- it's darned hard to try to overcome character issues, depression issues and the like when my body is actively in mutiny. I am worth the struggle to fix my body -- then I'll really be able to see (well, see more accurately) who I really am.