Most of the time I truly like the hustle and bustle being a mother. There are times, however, when it becomes a bit much. Most of those times, for me, stem from the never-ending stress of a special needs child, balancing four kids within a relatively large age range, and just trying to keep up with everyone. (As you'll recall, this is part of my problem in general -- I tend to focus too much on what everyone else needs and end up burning out like a fizzling comet in August.) The latest calamity to hit our house is... a cold.
We're on the second kid now. Just when it seemed the first one was finally getting better, the next one succumbed. One kid? That's no problem. When it begins the slow spread and threatens to consume my small army, it's another matter entirely. We don't have time for this! I don't have time for this!
Calamities are a fact of life though, and they have to be anticipated to a point. There's no way to know what's going to happen. In the middle of illnesses, deadlines, projects, and the like, however, you can certainly see where you've been. If you've been using your time wisely (that whole being content in the moment with how you're spending the moment bit), then the odds are you'll weather the Interruption Du Jour. If you've been stealing time here and there and know that you've not spent your time well (or well enough), it's going to be much harder to avoid Cosmic Comet Burnout.
So this brings me back to the past month or so of thinking. I'm worth my time. This means I have to spend it a little better (well, a lot better... but let's not be hasty) by avoiding known time wasting black holes. For me, this means Facebook and fora - oh, how I love to chat with others and feel connected! But honestly I've spent many more hours doing those things than reading, than writing, than playing a game with my kids, than sprucing up my closet and home. It also means working some more on avoiding procrastination. It means alternating play and work (that timer idea I had last week) so that burnout is held at bay on an hourly basis right now.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard
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