Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 9: Make Time for Fellowship

We are made in the image and likeness of God. God is Three Divine Persons in One God - He is the very essence of community, family and relationship. So... if we are made in His image, we are made to be in community, family and relationship - it's in our genes.

Staying at home is all well and good - truly it's my calling. Why else would I knock myself out day in and day out trying to make sure my family is served good meals, has a decent dwelling place, and then attempt to home educate them on top of it all? My kids are wonderful people, even in their resistance to my efforts to civilize them. However, I long for adult relationships and community. It is not fair to require my husband to fill every social need that I have either. So to satisfy that need, I have been looking for ways to get together with friends. I'm not all that good at it most of the time. When I have small children, it feels impossible to get away - but get away I must. Never before have I felt it to be so imperative.

A group of us from a loose-knit Catholic homeschooling group have teens. Our kids need time with their friends, so we get them together once a month. I wish it were more often, but this is what works for now for the group at large. The moms who aren't hosting that particular evening end up visiting for the few hours that the kids are doing their thing. It works. It's not enough, but it's a start. A phone call here and there adds up. An impromptu Moms' Night Out is never a bad idea (any of my local mom friends reading: I'm ready!). I need to think of more ways to make this work out more regularly. Last week I mentioned that I spent over an hour chatting with my neighbor friend - it was nice, but both of us commented that we need to chat more often instead of trying to cram every thought in our heads into a brief conversation.

I am worth the time it takes to build my friendships. In the long run, those relationships are integral pieces of our growth and development as human beings. Remember last week's horror at the idea of being bitter, resentful and dying young? That, my friends, is what happens to a woman who doesn't have relationships to spur her toward ideals, to nudge her to move forward, or to challenge her to love more and grow in virtue.

Action Plan: This week I will get a letter mailed out and make at least one phone call just to shoot the breeze with a friend. What are you going to do to nurture your friendships?


  1. This is something I struggle with. I have recently joined an on-line group of local Mums, and we have actually managed to meet now, but it is difficult balancing all the calendars and requirements (some drive, some do now) to find a suitable time and place for all the mums and all the babies.

    I shall go forth and revive our meeting up thread and see what we can do!

    Thankfully, my July 08 board, although scattered over a large area, meets up on a very regular basis. Many are coming to Fee's christening, and this has reminded me to finish getting the invites out.

  2. I have called some old friends and declared a commitment to spend some friend time with them this year and they agreed whole heartily! :) Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Mouse, that's a great idea to get your local group thinking about getting together again. It IS tough to coordinate that many schedules. That's actually why I think a more frequent meeting time could be beneficial for my son's teen group (and us moms) - if you miss a once-a-month meeting, it's a whole month longer until you meet up again. If it's a more frequent gathering, you just don't miss out on as much for as long a time.

    Friends are worth the effort.

  4. Exactly.

    We've narrowed it down to the last week in January. It's a start!